


Penny Parker confuses Twitter for a living

by siricsblvck



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Female Peter Parker, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Parent Tony Stark, Penny Parker - Freeform, Precious Peter Parker, Social Media, Twitter, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2019-10-27 15:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siricsblvck/pseuds/siricsblvck
Summary: penny @pbjparkerif i get 1 like on this tweet i will eat this pretzel i found under my bedORin which Penny Parker needs to get off twitter.





	1. penny no

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to hell  
> this is my first fic and it is very much for shits and giggles thank you very much goodbye enjoy

**penny @pbjparker**

if i get 1 like on this tweet i will eat this pretzel i found under my bed

 

**penny @pbjparker**

omg guys uwu guess i have to now haha yike!

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker you liked your own tweet

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@IronMan did i?

 

**flash @spiderflash**

@pbjparker why the fuck is tony stark tweeting you?


	2. whomst???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you comment i'll use ur username in the chapters yeehaw hint hint

**penny @pbjparker**

mr stark can i get some help im stuck

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker im on my way

 

**yeah but if god is not true @wewuldntevenbeexist**

okay but whomst?? is?? penny?? and why is tony stark interacting with her???

 > **alyssietta @lesbianthesbian**

    right????

  >>  **yeah but if god is not true @wewuldntevenbeexist**

        secret daughter?? super lucky fan??? lets find out 

   >>> **penny @pbjparker**

           lmao i wish mr stark was my dad haha no im his intern™

 

**yeah but if god is not true @wewuldntevenbeexist**

has tony stark hired a?? 15?? year old?? i am: even more confused

 

**flash @spiderflash**

@pbjparker no really why is tony stark responding to you


	3. spidey fanfics

**penny @pbjparker**

spidey smut fics are wild why do so many people think hes a smooth christian gray dude like??? have you heard him speak?? ever???

 > **penny @pbjparker**

     like ik no one knows his identity but cmon weve seen the dude smash into buildings so many times you think hed be able to do that stuff?? pfft pleathe.

 

**worm @bookworm19**

@IronMan come get ur intern

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker Kid, I don't want to know the weird things you do in your spare time.

** > ur next dundundun @xfs**

      mr stark sir we need more info on this penny girl im begging u

 

**penny @pbjparker**

hOW CoULD I ForGET Mr sTARk fOLLoWS Me!!! dumbass!! im deleting meself!!

 

**nedward @guyinthechair**

@pbjparker can i have ur internship when u delete urself

 > **penny @pbjparker**

     yeth

  >> **nedward @guyinthechair**

        cool thanks

   >>> **Tony Stark @IronMan**

            No you cannot, Ted.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having fun w this you can tell


	4. harley

**harley @keenerbeaner**

@pbjparker remember that time tony fell face first into a bowl of whipped cream

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@keenerbeaner of course i do that was the best moment of my life

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@keenerbeaner @pbjparker That was your fault! I will have your accounts deleted. Don’t test me.

 

**penny @pbjparker**

wow i am soooo ‘scared’ now. whatever shall i do now that i cannot tell twitter that mr stark listens so high school musical in his lab :/

 

**flash @spiderflash**

@pbjparker stop the lies already you don’t know tony stark

 

**harley @keenerbeaner**

@spiderflash dude... are you?? kidding me?? you’ve seen him AND me talk to her and still don’t believe her. lmao idiot

 

 **Fear** **me** **@** **ImmaBiohazard**

Tony Stark is more like us than we thought... @IronMan what’s your favorite hsm song?

 

**bold and brash @Boldlygone1**

im loving the relationship between penny and stark already and i have seen them interact three (3) times. 


	5. crushes

**harley @keenerbeaner**

hey everyone it's valentines day so im gonna tell you that penny had a crush on black widow for a solid 6 months and couldnt be in the same room as her without blushing

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@keenerbeaner okay but why did you bring that up... its rude.

 

**mj @michelgbt**

@pbjparker hmm, is that why you're always so red around me?

 

**penny @pbjparker**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker You alright, kid?

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@IronMan not at all mr stark :,)

 

**Natasha @BlackWidow**

@pbjparker that's adorable, kid.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im posting a valentines day chap on the 15th dont come for me


	6. spidey got twitter!

**spidey @spiderman**

it is wednesday my dudes aaAaaaaA

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@spiderman What are you doing? I told you not to make a Twitter.

 

**spidey @spiderman**

@TonyStark i got injured and cant patrol anymore so im bored lol

 

**rey @Rey129**

spiderman got a twitter! i repeat, spiderman got a twitter!!!!

 

**spidey @spiderman**

 imma do a qna pls ask me stuff using the tag #spideysqna uwu

 

**sir dorkington the third @TheRoyalDork**

#spideysqna how old r u?

 

**addict @addictwithapen_72**

whats ur real name #spideysqna

 

**tt @Tanisha_Tabassum**

#spideysqna where do u live

 

**spidey @spiderman**

i dont think any of you have grasped the concept of a secret identity qna cancelled

 

 


	7. white boy of the month

**penny @pbjparker**

i want to cut my hair hmm 

 

**> mj @michelgbt**

   do it you'll look hot

 

**penny @pbjparker**

hnnnng ok im doing it

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker I can make an appointment for you please do not do what I think you're about to do

 

>  **penny @pbjparker**

did you think i was going to cut my hair myself bc i absolutely did

 

**penny @pbjparker**

i am now: a pixie but also i kinda look like a white boy of the month contender please consider me to be the next one thanks

 

**abby @abbbbbby**

literally why am i invested in this girls life idk her 

 

>  **mer @miraculous_mermaid03**

if tony stark likes her we like her its the rules

 

* * *

 

 

**penny @pbjparker**

y'all wanted to see my new hair so here you go

[picture: penny with a grin on her face. her hair is a very messily cut and curly pixie cut]

 

**> nedward @guyinthechair**

   thats my best friend!! ooo u look so good!! 

 

**> ddddora the exploraaa @thexploress**

   PENNY WHATEVER HER MIDDLE NAME IS PARKER IS OFFICIALLY THE NEW WHITE BOY OF THE MONTH LOOK AT HERRRRRR

 

**> Tony Stark @IronMan**

    Looking good, kid. @pbjparker

 

**> spidey @spiderman**

    cute!!

 

**DIRECT MESSAGES**

**mj > penny**

 

 **mj:** you look really good with that haircut

 

 **penny:** uwu thank you bkjgbkdfb


	8. how to: get a date

**penny @pbjparker**

how do people just like,,, get dates to homecoming????

 

**mj @michelgbt**

@pbjparker do you want to go to homecoming w/ me?

 

>  **penny @pbjparker**

well yeah i know they ask like that but how do people get the -courage- to ask!!

>>  **mj @michelgbt**

...

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

Penny... kid... 

 

**penny @pbjparker**

what

 

**penny @pbjparker**

OH

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@michelgbt YES BFJFDG

 

**mj @michelgbt**

looking forward to it :)

 

**nedward @guyinthechair**

penny you are so dumb also thats the first time ive seen mj use any sort of emoticon and i am: scared

 

 


	9. homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is no plot to this and you can tELL im making it up as i go i just want gay content

**penny @pbjparker**

its homecoming.., i got my hat on backwards and its time to fuckin party

 

**> Tony Stark @IronMan**

   Have fun at homecoming, kiddo.

>>  **penny @pbjparker**

      thanks mr stark i will!!

 

 

* * *

 

 

**penny @pbjparker**

homecoming kinda sucked the hangout afterwards did not

[4 pictures attached: one of Penny and Michelle standing together, Penny is a red off the shoulder dress and Michelle in a blue suit. another one of Penny looking miserable surrounded by sweaty kids dancing. the third was a picture of Penny and Ned mid laugh, sitting together on a curb outside eating pizza. the fourth one was of Penny and Michelle holding hands, taken from behind.]

 

**pickles @picklesthegreat**

tony starks intern is possibly the cutest human alive i-

 

**flash @spiderflash**

wow loser couldnt even handle homecoming haha

 

**penny @pbjparker**

flash shut the fuck up challenge

 

**fawkes @darkphoenix123**

who is this flash person and can we all find him and beat him up

 


	10. did it work?

**penny @pbjparker**

i tried a thing did it work

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/183950267@N05/48655285982/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

@pbjparker You're grounded.

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@IronMan you cant ground me only may can do that

 

**May @MayParker**

@pbjparker You're grounded.

 

**penny @pbjparker**

@MayParker MAY SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE TWITTER BVHDFGBDKFGBKJ

 

**luna @lunasbanana**

i am LIVING for tony stark being a dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short ik but i have ~no ideas~ so uhhh comment some ig???


	11. "incorrect" avengers quotes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back from a 5 month hiatus yeet dont kill me aha ha you are..,, so sexy

 

 

**harley @keenerbeaner**

penny: i should turn myself into an egirl

tony: do not.

penny: u dont even know what that is lmao

tony: if you want to do it its not a good thing

penny: ok brb lol 

 

**harley @keenerbeaner**

the suspense is high how will this end.

 

**neil @joam**

if tony starks intern can turn into an egirl without getting fired i will go as a furry to work

 

**harley @keenerbeaner**

penny: *comes out looking like an egirl*

tony:

penny: *squishes face and rolls eyes backwards*

tony: *takes out fire extinguisher*

 

-

 

**harley @keenerbeener**

penny: hey can i get some uhhh foys groys

tony: can you fucking what?

penny: you know the thing rich people eat

tony:

penny: foys groys

tony: FOie GRaS?!?

 

**penny @pbjparker**

this makes me look dumb bitch i speak spanish not ratatouille language

 

**mj @michelgbt**

i speak french to you all the time and you act like you understand

 

**penny @pbjparker**

no im just dazed bc my brain shuts off when my gf is speaking the language of love to me

 

**flash @spideyflash**

mj you could do so much better than penis honestly

 

**klub kooter @djkooch**

ok first thing tony starks intern is either bi or lesbian and thats awesome second thing lets murder this flash person whos w me

 

**weeee @amayri**

me

 

**hot mama @zoowee**

me

 

**diana @lordesbitch**

me

 

**Tony Stark @IronMan**

me

 

**harley @keenerbeaner**

me

 

**Stark Industries @SI**

me

 

**penny @pbjparker**

as much as i love this is it legal for si to technically threaten a minor 

 

 

 

 


End file.
